Mari Hoaglund

“How do I achieve happiness?” That’s a question I’m asked a lot during my sessions with my clients. They want to know how to “get to happiness” and I constantly have to reframe their thoughts for them. What if it wasn’t about “getting” to happiness as if it’s a destination but rather LIVING in a state of happiness.

The word “when” needs to be removed from your vocabulary when talking about happiness or success. “When I get this promotion” or “when I get a better job”or “when I lose these last 5 pounds” is setting your brain up to view that you can only achieve happiness and/or success once you reach the goal post you have just set. Furthermore, if it’s constantly changing, such as “I just hit this sales target but next time it needs to be higher”, you’ll never reach your destination, therefore, never reaching happiness and/or success as you’ve defined it in your mind.

Changing the way you view your present life, becoming mindful, creates happiness in the moment. Taking time to state your gratitude daily allows your mind to live in that gratitude, cultivating a thankful response in your brain. Reliving a positive moment that happened during the day whether through journaling or conversation, allows your brain to experience that joyful moment again. Random acts of kindness or conscious acts of kindness allow yourself to have a moment of internal validation and support, thus boosting your self worth. 

These are baby steps that you can take towards becoming more mindful and creating a happiness advantage in your life. Therapy is an amazing way to have an unbiased accountability partner in your journey!